Allah created Prophet Adam, and He said he needs somebody beside him and He created Awwal the first woman. This implies marriage has when Almighty been existing since the existence of the first man Prophet Adam. Marriage is very important in human life and compulsory.
In Islam marriage means NIKKAH. Marriage is the union of a man and a woman or women (in some cases), to live together as a family. Islam as a religion of peace has few things to contribute to marriage, and down here are the few points.
In Islam marriage can be between a man and a woman or as many as four women. Because Holy Prophet married more than one wives, Islam allows Muslims to marry more than one wife, if the person has the capacity.
Before I proceed I would like to say something on how marriage begins. A man or a woman don’t just stand up, one day and pick a lady or has his wife or husband. Marriage begins by searching for the partner that is, the man search or look for a lady of his choice, also the lady look for a man of her choice. A man look for his partner in school, tertiary institutions, in occasions, place of works and most importantly Islamic organizations like Nasfat, Quareeb and other Islamic organizations. This is also applicable to lady. It is very important and good to search for a lady of the same religion as yours. This has very serious impact on the life of the children. Also a man should bear it in mind to search for a forthright lady of good parents too.
After the man has gotten a lady, next is to propose a marriage. In Islam people that can marry are those that have attain puberty. In lady it is very fast. In the Hadiths of the Holy Prophet, HE said a lady should not do more than one menstruation in her father house the second one should be in her husband house. Therefore lady should be married to her husband as early as possible. Usually men of 20 years and lady of 18 years are allowed to marry in Islam.
After both the lady and the man have agreed to marry each other, next is to take each other to their parents. The man will take the lady to his parents and the lady also takes the man to her parents. After the two parent of both families are aware they now pick a date for their marriage.
On the day of Nikkah (marriage) the parents of the two people (lady and man) must be present. The Prophet said if one of the parents of one family is absent in the marriage. He said the marriage should not be joined. But if other people are absent, but the parents are present the marriage can be joined and be blessed.
A man should give DOWRY to his wife. Dowry is anything a man gives to his wife on their wedding day. It allows the woman to be remembering the day of their marriage. As it is practice in most part of the world; dowry is for the wife but not for the family or the parents of the bride. Dowry can be anything the man is capable of, it can be a golden ring, silver ring, iron ring, animals, money, or other things the man is capable. But in situation where the man has nothing to give her, the Prophet said he can teach her any Surat she does not know in the Holy Quran and give it to her as dowry.
In Islam there is no sin for a Muslim who marry a widow or a woman that marries a widower (a man whose wife is dead or divorced). But before one can embark on that he should be confirmed that the wife is truly divorce or her husband is died, after this he can marry her. He should also do nikkah for her too. He should also pay her dowry.
As I have said before, a man can marry to as many as four wives in Islam, that is when he can take care of them all without any problem. One of the hadiths said if a man is capable of taking good care of one wife without complains or problems he can proceed to marry the second wife. And if he can still take good care of them he can proceed to third one and so on, but if he could not take good care of the first he should not go for the second one. A man who wanted to marry many wives should be strong, financially buoyant, provide clothing, shelters, food, should be potent. If all these are lacking, a man should not marry more than one wife.
More so after marriage, the lady no longer stays in her father house but stay in her husband’s house where they both start a new life. Both the husband and wife are expected to be sharing their opinion about the progress of the family. The husband is expected to be providing everything her wife needs. Both the husband and the wife should not engage in form that would tarnish the image and integrity of both of them. Husband should not do thins that would ruin the integrity of his wife and wife also should not do it. Both of them should protect their marriage.
The Prophet (SAW) said anybody that said he/she would not marry or bear children does not belong to his group. Therefore marriage in Islam is compulsion and obligation on every Muslam that accepted Prophet Muhammad (SAW) as his conclusively, marriage has many achievements which include bearing of children in a well blessed marriage. Marriage also disallows people from zina which is what Almighty Allah hates most. It also teaches people to know how to live and control people, because you can control a community or nation you must start within your family. Each family should do everything to protect their family and to Allah to blessed their marriage with children like Prophet Ibrahim and our Holy Prophet Muhammad (SAW).
By: Mallam Mohammed Atojoko
National President/Chairman of Council
Association of Nigeria Muslim Authors .